聚

缘.圆.员

本来已缺席这活动了

不过维慎联络我

才试着去说服父母让我参加

这次出席活动的人数

只有几十人

不过

人少少的

反而更容易联谊

一开始

听着你们的对话

是有点不开心

而且觉得有点难受

但绝对不是因为活动的问题

就是提不起劲去玩

慢慢的

才进入状态

做了一个笑脸的灯笼

原因是想要自己能够笑一笑

忘掉忧愁

或许作品有点难看

不过都是我亲手制作的

而且有点鼓励的元素

提醒自己“笑一笑，没烦恼”

笑一笑，世界更美好

有时

会觉得自己很没有存在感

或许是只有在挚友面前

我才能完全放开自己

有时

会觉得很自卑

自卑什么？

我不懂

有时
会觉得很孤独
总是成为一大班人
漠视的那个
走在后头的那个

或许自己的沉默不语
让人觉得我很难相处吧
也不知怎的
最近有点沉默

长大了
烦人的事情也跟着越来越多

铭丰看到我
就先问我：
“苏靖雯，你做么这样伤心？”
“没有啊，我哪里有？”
“还说没有，再将多两句眼泪就要留下来了……”

没错
我那时是有点悲
悲什么？
我真的不懂
不过很想懂……

但是铭丰的几句问候
加上秋明的关心
我感觉好多了
至少有人在乎我

有时
真的很讽刺
身边的朋友
不曾察觉到的
可是
几个月才见一面的朋友却察觉到
真的很讽刺

过后的活动呢
不好意思
一一省略

晚上
提灯笼游街
好久没这样子玩了
再加上
艳雯和几个学海之友的加入
感觉很好
真的很好

隔天
我被整了
不，不该说被整了
因为那算是活动之一

当我从电话里听到那两声尖叫声时
两声嘶破喉咙的尖叫声
我真的呆了
脑海里就出现很多负面的画面
我在想
如果恩乐就这样不见了
或发生什么事的话
我这一辈子不会好过

于是
水龙头开了
第一个失控的是我
完全无法冷静下来

看到接下来活动的提示纸
虽然有点怀疑
可是脑袋就是空空的
盲目地在那里乱走

虽然知道这不过是个活动
不过找到恩乐时
我的眼泪
还是像水龙头这样
关不紧
一触到开关
就会流了

我的组还蛮幸运的
因为很轻易的
工委就让我们“领回”恩乐

看到哲章
因为自己的干妹还在被“囚禁”
而静静地坐在角落
留着眼泪
责怪自己没有尽干哥的本分
等着亦韵给他带来好消息
那种感觉
窝心的感觉

就是不懂
明知是个游戏
为什么还会这样激动？
因为……患难见真情

我喜欢学记
是因为
我在这里体会到很多

有人会问“学记真的这样好玩吗？”
“不是好玩，而是我们彼此之间的感情”

是的，

我们学记之间的感情

那种感情在外头是无法体会到的

所以

我很珍惜



离开前的大合照





以蜡烛写出xueji（学记）





走走走，提灯笼







我和艳雯 =)



blablabla~~~

well
i found that this few weeks
i am quiet
or ppl will just label
"you are emo."

when i heard tat
i think about it
yea
maybe u are right
i am emo

i also don't know why
i juz feels like bo mood
don't want to talk anything
and juz leave them
be alone

seriously
i want to be happy
i miss the time all of us were together
and
you and me are together
i miss you

ok
other than that
there's still many problems....

first
what i expected from u guys all gone
maybe there's still have chance
but for me
the percentage of achieve it is only 30%
u guys are doubt at my ability
and that hurt me

it takes a long time for me to recover
i persuade myself
i tell myself
"you are the best, it's their lost they didn't choose you."

you may say
"it's ok.you still have chance."
i knew that
but it's hard for me to continue fight for it
as u have already doubt at me....
i found that it is really really hard for me....

the second thing
i already tried my best to do everything
what u do is juz observed and said
" hey , why u didn't do tis and do that ? "
" hey , why u didn't go for ur duty ?"
u never gone through it
u never know what is the problem
so pls think for others
nt everyone manage to do that
i swear i had already sacrifice to carry out my job

huhuhu...
when i realise that i cant go to there
i really really dissapointed and sad
i am angry at myself
why i didn't fight for it at first
and juz follow my friends
if they absent then i'll be absent
what's wrong with me ???
u're live for urself but NOT for others
why don't u do what u want to do???
and nw u r regret
maybe only like that
then only we called it as 'life'

anything else in my mind ???

okay
i wish i could go and meet you
and chat with you the whole night
and be your listener
and bla bla bla..do everything with you
as long as u r there.....

write until here..
and you read until here...
then u will only know why the title is blablabla
because i want to bla out everything in my mind.....

* p/s : although i know u r nt using blogger and it's impossible for u to view it but i still hope u
could read it and know the one i mean is YOU