聚

缘.圆.员

本来已缺席这活动了

不过维慎联络我

才试着去说服父母让我参加

这次出席活动的人数

只有几十人

不过

人少少的

反而更容易联谊

一开始

听着你们的对话

是有点不开心

而且觉得有点难受

但绝对不是因为活动的问题

就是提不起劲去玩

慢慢的

才进入状态

做了一个笑脸的灯笼

原因是想要自己能够笑一笑

忘掉忧愁

或许作品有点难看

不过都是我亲手制作的

而且有点鼓励的元素

提醒自己“笑一笑，没烦恼”

笑一笑，世界更美好

有时

会觉得自己很没有存在感

或许是只有在挚友面前

我才能完全放开自己

有时

会觉得很自卑

自卑什么？

我不懂

有时
会觉得很孤独
总是成为一大班人
漠视的那个
走在后头的那个

或许自己的沉默不语
让人觉得我很难相处吧
也不知怎的
最近有点沉默

长大了
烦人的事情也跟着越来越多

铭丰看到我
就先问我：
“苏靖雯，你做么这样伤心？”
“没有啊，我哪里有？”
“还说没有，再将多两句眼泪就要留下来了……”

没错
我那时是有点悲
悲什么？
我真的不懂
不过很想懂……

但是铭丰的几句问候
加上秋明的关心
我感觉好多了
至少有人在乎我

有时
真的很讽刺
身边的朋友
不曾察觉到的
可是
几个月才见一面的朋友却察觉到
真的很讽刺

过后的活动呢
不好意思
一一省略

晚上
提灯笼游街
好久没这样子玩了
再加上
艳雯和几个学海之友的加入
感觉很好
真的很好

隔天
我被整了
不，不该说被整了
因为那算是活动之一

当我从电话里听到那两声尖叫声时
两声嘶破喉咙的尖叫声
我真的呆了
脑海里就出现很多负面的画面
我在想
如果恩乐就这样不见了
或发生什么事的话
我这一辈子不会好过

于是
水龙头开了
第一个失控的是我
完全无法冷静下来

看到接下来活动的提示纸
虽然有点怀疑
可是脑袋就是空空的
盲目地在那里乱走

虽然知道这不过是个活动
不过找到恩乐时
我的眼泪
还是像水龙头这样
关不紧
一触到开关
就会流了

我的组还蛮幸运的
因为很轻易的
工委就让我们“领回”恩乐

看到哲章
因为自己的干妹还在被“囚禁”
而静静地坐在角落
留着眼泪
责怪自己没有尽干哥的本分
等着亦韵给他带来好消息
那种感觉
窝心的感觉

就是不懂
明知是个游戏
为什么还会这样激动？
因为……患难见真情

我喜欢学记
是因为
我在这里体会到很多

有人会问“学记真的这样好玩吗？”
“不是好玩，而是我们彼此之间的感情”

是的，

我们学记之间的感情

那种感情在外头是无法体会到的

所以

我很珍惜



离开前的大合照





以蜡烛写出xueji（学记）





走走走，提灯笼







我和艳雯 =)



blablabla~~~

well
i found that this few weeks
i am quiet
or ppl will just label
"you are emo."

when i heard tat
i think about it
yea
maybe u are right
i am emo

i also don't know why
i juz feels like bo mood
don't want to talk anything
and juz leave them
be alone

seriously
i want to be happy
i miss the time all of us were together
and
you and me are together
i miss you

ok
other than that
there's still many problems....

first
what i expected from u guys all gone
maybe there's still have chance
but for me
the percentage of achieve it is only 30%
u guys are doubt at my ability
and that hurt me

it takes a long time for me to recover
i persuade myself
i tell myself
"you are the best, it's their lost they didn't choose you."

you may say
"it's ok.you still have chance."
i knew that
but it's hard for me to continue fight for it
as u have already doubt at me....
i found that it is really really hard for me....

the second thing
i already tried my best to do everything
what u do is juz observed and said
" hey , why u didn't do tis and do that ? "
" hey , why u didn't go for ur duty ?"
u never gone through it
u never know what is the problem
so pls think for others
nt everyone manage to do that
i swear i had already sacrifice to carry out my job

huhuhu...
when i realise that i cant go to there
i really really dissapointed and sad
i am angry at myself
why i didn't fight for it at first
and juz follow my friends
if they absent then i'll be absent
what's wrong with me ???
u're live for urself but NOT for others
why don't u do what u want to do???
and nw u r regret
maybe only like that
then only we called it as 'life'

anything else in my mind ???

okay
i wish i could go and meet you
and chat with you the whole night
and be your listener
and bla bla bla..do everything with you
as long as u r there.....

write until here..
and you read until here...
then u will only know why the title is blablabla
because i want to bla out everything in my mind.....

* p/s : although i know u r nt using blogger and it's impossible for u to view it but i still hope u
could read it and know the one i mean is YOU

the day i lose 2 things ='(

state level of english drama competition 2011

i really really shocked when i heard the mc announced that
nt only me...is everyone of us...
hw i wish tat time is juz a dream.....
but it's real..
we have to accept it.....

at first
i try to comfort myself....
control myself nt to cry....
tell myself tat at least we gt it...
but
i CANNOT make it...
i cried at last.......
cried out loud.....

once i think we had spent our time
we had sacrifice everything
we had put a lot of effort
but
we still lose
i really really sad n disappointed.....

i cried
because
i lose 2 things at the same time....
2 main things in my student life right now...

even now when i think about it..
my tears still rolling in my eyes....

anyway
special thanks to :
steve ooi
vijay
jordan
joyce

=) smile is the best way to solve everything

dRamA

12th may 2011

a memorable day for u n me
of course for smki drama team
our FIRST comes back

at the moment
the mc announce that second is smsm
all of us lost controlled
shouting yelling crying
not for our lose
but for our win

ibrahim nombor 1
ibrahim nombor 1
ibrahim nombor 1

the things still come to my mind

we were practice hard and hard for the past five weeks
and also getting scold by the teachers
of course some of us including me really tak syok sometimes
but anyway when the result come out
we really appreciate them

seriously
at first when i joined this team
it's not like a team
but like ourselves
a group here
and a group there

but
as the competiton day come nearer
we started to be a team
everyone started to tease each other
just like what we do right now
but don't get confused
we are not really want to hurt or tease someone
it's just joking to make ourselves CHILLAX

one more thing
this year drama team's nickname is CHILLAX TEAM
chill + relax = CHILLAX

anyway
we still have a long way to go
to achieve our target
to achieve our dream

p/s : special thanks to steve and jordan too

:)

解脱

第一次的中四考试
应该会很烂吧
这是预了的

每一份考卷都做到我头昏脑胀的
每一科我都花时间去准备
只不过准备不够罢了嘛
可是我真的有花时间去准备

考试周我每天凌晨三点就起身拼了
我真的有读书

可是
进到考场
拿到了考卷
脑袋就进入睡眠状态
什么东西都想不起
就像个没准备的人去考试

唉唉唉唉唉唉
算了算了算了算了
不及格罢了嘛
又不是没试过
可好像只试过一次罢料叻

现在也解脱了
hooray!!!
假期
我最爽!!!!

中四
让我有压迫的感觉

P/S 我校及格分数是60分叻，难到~~~

lake resort, pendang 10-11 march 2011

这个地方还真美如果来度假而不是来program motivasi 的话那我会告诉你这个地方超赞的 其实也没我想象中的差至少我吃得好，睡得饱 第一天刚好学校举行越野赛跑越野赛跑后就直接去pendang 所以还蛮累的 最重要的是在那里的第一个活动竟然就是要在那里跑来跑去的就像在玩station games 拜托刚越野赛跑完就做这样的活动根本就是嫌我们体力太多 最重要的一点是负责人并没有给我们时间走走看看这四周围的环境试想想在这人生地不熟的地方我们要怎样找到该去的地方啊？ 幸好和我同组的几位马来同学曾经来过这里不过也走了不少冤枉路 接下来的活动主要是讲座会 大约1点吧活动才结束 回到宿舍倒头就睡没有想要刷牙后才睡的精力 躺在床上不到几分钟就入睡了 第二天大约6时许我们就起身了 睡了一觉精神多了不过却因为昨天的激烈运动造成肌肉酸痛 唉这就是平常不爱运动的后果 做完早操、吃完早餐后又是我最讨厌的环节——讲座会 不过这讲座会或多或少对学习上有一点点帮助那就是———— 如何安排时间+如何做笔记 当然重要的部分我都有听不重要的嘛就在脑海里想想他说不定在我想他的当儿他正打喷嚏呢 XD 只是那讲师脾气有点暴躁说什么我们不跟指示一大堆的理由 其实说穿了还不是他给的指示不清楚 很快的两天一夜就这样过去了我是觉得还不错的如果明年只是这样的活动或许我还会参加吧！ :D

倒数

大约10 个小时后吧
我就要踏进礼堂
面试

说真的
准备得不是很充足
arahan 也背不得太多
基本知识也不知道太多
真的是
最后一分钟了

5个人考
4个职位
1 个 koperal 加 3 个 lans koperal
1 个会被踢出去
那个人会酱衰的是我吗？

lans koperal 真的有那么难考吗？
koperal 真的有那么难考吗？

保佑我吧…………